"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating.
It does not appear to matter that we are independent professionals or business owners, we live in a world shaped by the rules of corporate life. Most of us came from jobs and daily schedules that dictated what to do and how to spend our time. Being somewhat like the long-term prisoner we got very used to the daily regimen. We were told when to start work, take lunch, take breaks and leave for the day. Managers, clients, customers and operating manuals told us what to do and when to do it.
So we get out on our own, having dreamt of the freedom, only to start filling our days with busyness, in a panic from the very start. We don't have a clue as to how to do otherwise.
It doesn't seem to matter how long you have been out on your own. It's just as difficult to break outdated habits and beliefs when we do become financially successful. Why? Because whatever path to success we took, we now believe - or certainly worry - that it's the only way. We are afraid to let go and try something new. Why? Perhaps because beliefs have been making the decisions all along. And I'm not talking about beliefs based in trust, faith, passion and prosperity!
Consider the following beliefs:
1. I'm easily distracted 2. I'm not an organized person 3. I do my best work under pressure 4. Really successful people start work early and end late 5. When you own your own business, you have to work long hours, especially at the beginning 6. If I keep enough balls up in the air, some are sure to land. 7. Work?hard? nose?to? the?grindstone (Arrgghh!) 8. If I'm having fun it must not be right
Or complaints?
1. I can't take time off - I need the money 2. I don't know how to say "no" to others (or to crappie work or to crummy clients) 3. I never have enough time for myself 4. I'm responsible for everything in my business 5. In this bad economy?fill in the blank
It's no wonder we find it difficult, left to our own devices, to figure out how to structure our day so that we achieve that seemingly illusive balance between success and personal well being. The two needs appear to be at odds with each other. It's a rare few that have the good fortune to understand how to create a structure that effectively serves both needs.
The goal is to be able to make good decisions about how your spend your working time with confidence, so that you are effective, having fun and leaving room for your personal needs and commitments. The goal is to be able to make such decisions from a place of certainty, trust, and faith in yourself, and 'the universe.'
Uncovering Your Beliefs and Understanding Their Impact on Your Business Decisions
1. To get started thinking about the impact your beliefs have on how you decide what it takes to be successful in business, pick one from the above list that isn't one of yours. Imagine if it were yours. What impact do you think it would have on you? How would it impact your ability to make sound decisions about what it takes to be successful?
2. Now take a look at something you know you do believe, a belief or a habit that you can't seem to shake. If you are having difficulty coming up with one, think about what you complain about to your friends, family or colleagues. Think about the story you tell people over and over. (This is the part that can make you squirm. It's okay. No one is around but you right now.) We are looking for the ugly, wonderful truth.
3. Take the belief you identified in 2 above and make note of how it could be impacting your decisions, your ability to set boundaries, your willingness to take time off or simply stop working before 5. (Yes, I meant before 5.)
4. Over the next week, take some time to observe and note every time this belief "pops up" to influence your decisions.
Just taking these few simple steps can loosen the hold that outdated beliefs have on your decisions from this day forward - no kidding. The beliefs are no longer in the background, in hiding, and running the show. You now have a chance to loosen their reign.
Bonus Step: If you want to go one step further, write down a new belief to replace the old belief. Review the new belief every day. Put it up on your computer as a screen saver (mine's "Abundance Girl"). Feel the belief, look for evidence it's true. If the old one comes to visit, say hello, bid it adieu, and then replace it with the new belief.
Willingness, the Final Ingredient
Ask yourself this: Am I willing let go of my story and do whatever it takes (even to feel like a fool) to have the freedom and the success that lead me to start my business in the first place? If you are, you can.
c2004 by Joan Friedlander. All rights reserved
About The Author
Joan Friedlander is an Entrepreneur's Success Coach. Her national coaching company, Lifework Business Partners, provides services, programs and products for entrepreneurs who have strong personal values and are committed to a high level of success and professionalism in their business. You can expect increased revenue, an improved quality of life, and an overall increase in confidence and business know-how within 3-6 months. Click on the this link to find out more http://www.lifeworkpartners.com
Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be... Read More One of my clients gave me permission to tell you... Read More Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's... Read More People have a difficult time letting go of the past... Read More Seeking improved performance at work? Wishing you could finally achieve... Read More I was asked the other day : "Kate, is personality... Read More January is the king of months for those looking to... Read More Most people have no idea where their money goes. They... Read More In this article we would like to help you explore... Read More "I can't wait!" she exclaimed over the phone. The anticipation... Read More Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about... Read More Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself.... Read More I don't know many people who would admit to wanting... Read More As a healthy business owner or independent professional, how do... Read More When a conversation is not working out there is the... Read More Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More One of the most distressing observations I have made among... Read More If you need to put on boots and grab a... Read More "Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything... Read More Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only... Read More Have you encountered a time when you were in a... Read More But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of... Read More Have you ever thought about how sheep get lost? Even... Read More An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has... Read More
Adsense
websites
Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation
What is the Success Lesson in this Story?
Searching For Your Calling ? Quest or Curse?
Let Go of Your Past
5 Tips to Improve ANY Performance
Encourage Personality Testing
Where to Begin?
How to Get a Grip on Your Money
Dealing Effectively with Midlife Issues
Your Silent Voice of Experience
Some Business Coaches are in Error
A Small Piece Of Carpet
Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility
The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself
An Easy Way to End The Year
How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips
Assertive Communication: 20 Helpful Tips
Helping Relationships: Understanding the Helpee
Could You Be A Workaholic?
Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?
Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...
How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination
How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills
Sheep Do Not Start Out Lost
The Incredible Rightness of Being
Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More
Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily... Read More
How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More
Personal or business coaching has helped thousands change their lives... Read More
Settling is about not embracing what is best for you,... Read More
From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was... Read More
Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years... Read More
When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When:We're not feeling ok... Read More
I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More
"Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with... Read More
Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago,... Read More
What Is Your Definition of Success?If you want to create... Read More
Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both... Read More
You know, what are you saying to yourself? There's always... Read More
Do you often feel lonely, anxious, or even depressed? Is... Read More
1. Learn About YouIf you don't know who you are... Read More
When I was first introduced to the profession of personal... Read More
Can you recall a time where you utilized silence to... Read More
Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity?... Read More
Work addiction is very common in our society today, yet... Read More
"How can I become a better and more effective coach?"... Read More
Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a... Read More
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change... Read More
As a person who has been around the coaching profession... Read More
"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan... Read More
Coaching |